


Thoughts About Butts

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Crush, Butts, F/M, Flirting, Humor, Inappropriate Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Riddle, Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts and accomplished Legilimens, wonders why his sixth-year students are so preoccupied with thoughts about butts. Especially when he catches a certain young lady thinking about HIS butt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts About Butts

~ Thoughts About Butts ~

His sixth year Slytherin and Gryffindor class was supposed to be practicing the Patronus Charm, but Professor Riddle suspected that many of them were simply using the time to slack off or chat quietly with their friends under the guise of attempting the spell, especially seeing as none of them had yet managed to produce so much as a wisp of silver vapor. Being an adept Legilimens, he opened his mind to ambient thoughts as he walked around the room correcting incantation pronunciations and wand movements.

It wasn't entirely surprising to find that some of the young men were using the opportunity to discreetly (or so they  _thought,_  at least) ogle the rear ends of their female classmates. Or their male classmates, as the case turned out to be for several of the Gryffindor boys and one of the Slytherin ones. As he continued to stroll around the room on the pretense of checking the students' progress, he found that posteriors were also a popular topic of thought among the young ladies, although it seemed they were more concerned with how fat their own were becoming rather than how attractive those of the other gender were.

As Tom approached the front of the classroom, one thought stood out among all the others - because of all the  _gluteus maximi_  that were being pondered upon, this particular thought was about  _his._ Not to mention it was rather more graphic than any of the others...

He stopped beside the student to whom the errant daydream belonged, and hissed in her ear, so that only she would hear, " _Miss Black_ , please cease thinking about what it would feel like to  _grab my ass_ , and concentrate on your Patronus Charm."

The girl merely fluttered her eyelashes at him and said with an expression of false innocence, "But Professor, how will I practice my Patronus if I stop thinking about my 'happy thought'?"

Obviously she knew from his earlier comment that he was able to see into her mind, and she smirked as she allowed her little schoolgirl fantasy to descend into full-on filth.

"Detention, Miss Black!" he snapped.

"Ooh," she cooed, her tone carrying notes of both flirtation and triumph, "eager to get me alone later, are you?"

"Do not try my patience, Miss Black," Tom snarled, his tone one of deadly menace. "You will serve your detention with Filch."

Her expression twisted into one of utmost distaste before she managed to school her features back into a neutral expression.

"Yes, Professor," she murmured sullenly, well aware that her bit of fun was over.

Once his back was to her, Tom allowed himself a quiet chuckle at the girl's expense. He did so  _love_  putting the pureblood students in their place by making them do manual labor under the watch of a squib.

Bellatrix pouted for the rest of the class, but it was she who got the last laugh, as when she walked by his desk on her way out of the room she paused to tell him, "I'm seventeen this year, you know."

And she put an extra bit of sway in her step - just for him - as she walked away, knowing that he would be helpless to avoid watching the swing of her hips as she exited the classroom.

~end~


End file.
